Lenten Meditation–my sin is always before me

Psalm 51

2 Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.

Sometimes I wish I could just be tipped upside down and washed when I’ve gotten myself completely covered with muck–muddy hands, dirty feet, smudged face, soiled soul.  I look in the mirror and can see everything that desperately needs spiritual soap–now.  It is right there for me to see but I act helpless to do anything about it.

Maybe tomorrow…

Usually people are pretty effective at hiding the problems in their lives, even from themselves.   In the work I do, it isn’t so easy to conceal.  Patients come to detox because they have hit bottom in every way,  so they are forced to confront the troubles that brought them there.   I’ve cared for people who have sold themselves, sold others, abandoned spouses as well as their own children, murdered others and have tried to murder themselves.   They come in so grimy, it is hard to see their skin.   They cry out for cleansing, for forgiveness, for healing.  Sometimes they submit to that wash cycle, and sometimes the scrubbing that is the detox process is just too physically hard and painful despite all my effort to ease it. They can’t handle it and leave before they are clean.

Maybe tomorrow. I grieve when that happens.

Not once must I forget that their sin, ever so much more obvious,  is no greater than mine–we are all tainted goods.  Our only hope is the Lord holding onto us tightly, tipping us upside down in the holy waters and making sure we’re scrubbed until we shine.

Not tomorrow.

Today.

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