Reconciled Trembling

photo by Josh Scholten
photo by Josh Scholten

I am the rest between two notes,
which are somehow always in discord
because Death’s note wants to climb over—
but in the dark interval, reconciled,
they stay there trembling.
And the song goes on, beautiful.”
Rainer Maria Rilke from “My Life is Not This Steeply Sloping Hour”

On Mondays I often feel I’m the spot in the middle between discordant notes. There is on one side of me the pressure of catch-up from what was left undone through the weekend and on the other side is the anticipated demand of the coming week. Before I arrive to work, I’m uneasily in dead center, immobilized by the unknown ahead and the known behind.

This moment of rest in the present, between the trembling past and future, is my moment of reconciliation, my Sabbath extended. This morning I allow myself an instant of silence and reflection before I surge ahead into the week, knowing that on my journey I’ll inevitably hit wrong notes, but it can be beautiful nevertheless.

Even the least harmonious notes find reconciliation within the next chord. I now move from the rest of my Sabbath back into the rhythm of my life.

Trembling, still trembling.

2 thoughts on “Reconciled Trembling

  1. Emily, I now EXACTLY the feeling. It keeps me awake on Sunday nights. Mary Ann
    P.S. Love the new header photograph for Barnstorming. It is more hopeful and optimistic than the last.

    Like

  2. My initial reaction to this post was a recognition of the dreaded Monday- morning blues and, possibly, the sense of one being on the verge of job burnout. After re-reading it a few minutes later I realized that it is, rather, a paean to the indomitable spirit of Dr. Emily Gibson and to her faithful commitment to her calling as healer. There is also the implied source of the inner resolve and strength that motivate her on her journey. Keep on truckin’, beautiful woman.

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