Help Me Push Myself Aside

moontree

 

crescentmoon

 

Dear God, I cannot love Thee the way I want to.
You are the slim crescent of a moon that I see
and my self is the earth’s shadow
that keeps me from seeing all the moon.
The crescent is very beautiful
and perhaps that is all one like I am should or could see;
but what I am afraid of, dear God,
is that my self shadow will grow so large
that it blocks the whole moon,
and that I will judge myself by the shadow that is nothing.

I do not know You God
because I am in the way.
Please help me to push myself aside.
~Flannery O’Connor from her journals

 

octobermoon

 

crescentvenus

 

I get in the way all the time — like a photobomb of a shadow casting darkness on all that is light and beauty.  With my human “blinders” on,  I can’t see beyond where I stand, where I move, what I feel, what I fear, what I see and hear.

And I certainly get in the way of my knowing God. I think this is all about me.

It’s not.

He’s there, though partially hidden in my need to be front and center.
He’s there, His glory and truth manifest behind me, if only I would turn to see.
He’s there, gently instructing me to get out of my own way.

He’s there, fully radiant, once I step back in awe.

 

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3 thoughts on “Help Me Push Myself Aside

  1. Realistic yet humble admissions of the sometime bane and paradox of the Christian disciple from Flannery and from you, Emily. Regrettably, there are times in the life of every disciple and follower of Jesus the Christ, I think, when we falter briefly. There may be many causes (excuses) that we offer in our honest contemplative moments when we admit to this fault:
    busyness, distractions, failure to establish priorities, indifference, egotism, spiritual blindness (failure to ‘keep our eyes on Jesus’).
    Fortunately for us, He is a compassionate, loving God who constantly fortifies us with His freely-given Graces.

    Thank you, Emily. A you so often do, you end with simple yet profound aphorisms. In this post, it is in your litany of ‘He’s there….’

    Liked by 1 person

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